What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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