No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
