I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So. Much. Porn.
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