So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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