she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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