ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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