By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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