Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
