You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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