Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
