went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
