Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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