well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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