i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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