Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
