My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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