I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
