Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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