the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it's like iHOP with fire
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
