I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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