Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize