Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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