can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
