Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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