3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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