hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
