Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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