The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
