bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
