does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
