I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize