Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I currently don't understand fingers.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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