i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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