My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
