I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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