You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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