I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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