I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you win again, gameday.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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