I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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