I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
