I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
