you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
