I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
