the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
