alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
