My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
