It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
