you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
