What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
