So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
