do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
