I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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