New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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