I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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