Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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