he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
3 2 1 whiskey
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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