yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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