Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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