this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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