He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
