you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
