Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
