Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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