Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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