He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
